“Yeah, it’s been quite an experience,” he said softly.
There was something I wanted to tell him and I took a deep breath in preparation. “Josh, I asiangirl want to… I’m not very asiangirl good asiangirl with these little speeches, unless I rehearse them,” I admitted with a fleeting asiangirl smile. “But I want to tell you thanks, you’ve really been a great friend, and… you’ve really helped me a lot.”
“I already told you, it was you, not me.” He turned his face from the window and looked at me whimsically while I drove. “You know Finn, I wasn’t just being sarcastic about the therapy thing. I had to go through it when I was in rehab, and it really helped me get past my fears. I think therapy was the only reason I was able to get back into the water again.”
“I still can’t believe you did,” I whispered. I felt anxious thinking about it, and it didn’t even happen to me.
“I can’t let fear hold me back from what I love,” he said asiangirl simply asiangirl.
Even as dense as I was, I was able to asiangirl get a small inkling of how profound a statement that was, instead of passing it over the way I usually did with his wisdom, at least until later. Josh was pretty fucking smart, for a California boy. A surfer boy with a master’s degree in design, a seemingly perfect family, a perfect job, hiding scars every bit as bad as what I had. He was just lucky they hadn’t penetrated more deeply, past his skin and into his soul asiangirl.
“I think you’ve got a lot of things to work out, and therapy is a big help. There are people that specialize in
asiangirl adult abuse victims, you should try to find one; and you’ve obviously got some issues about
asiangirl being gay
asiangirl too
asiangirl.”
“Maybe a few,” I admitted reluctantly
asiangirl.
“We all do, dude.”
I grinned a big, goofy grin. “I can’t believe after all this time, you finally, finally said the word dude.”
Back at the hotel
asiangirl the photo team were all getting packed and ready, and of course they were looking for me frantically because the New York contingent wouldn’t fit in only one car, and I was driving up in the other one.
“Where have you been
asiangirl?” Lee bitched, casting his eyes at Josh with a trace of lingering bitterness, even though he’d accepted things by now.
“Oh… just taking a few pictures.”
Last night I’d packed all my camera equipment and I
asiangirl only had a few clothes to throw into my last suitcase among all the cords and cables; and then I went down to Josh’s
asiangirl room and helped him get packed so he could come to
asiangirl the airport with us. At
asiangirl first he protested he didn’t want to, but I
asiangirl used my powers of persuasion and talked him into it; I’d already figured out Josh found
asiangirl it very hard to say no to me, and I’m not above using whatever means necessary to get what I want.
“You don’t play fair,” he grumbled as he went over the room, looking for anything we’d missed.
“Oh
asiangirl, I know.” I smirked from the bed.
In one car, Lukas drove Jake and Lee, and in my rental car, Josh and I sat in the back with Gemma and Austin in the front. The presence of the
asiangirl other two didn’t account for our silence; there just didn’t seem to be that much left to say. We looked out the window at
asiangirl the spectacular scenery, and without being too obvious, under the curious glances of the other two, Josh slid his
asiangirl hand over to mine.
Nobody had ever held my hand before. I was surprised for a second, but then I looked over at him, smiled, and wrapped my fingers in his
asiangirl. All the while Gemma was watching in the rear
asiangirl view mirror at the wheel and I saw
asiangirl her smile.
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